21 June 2010

Parallel Unemployed Universe

Just under the 40th Parallel, in the posh suburbs of Kansas City, I'm in a parallel universe of unemployment.

Here, and elsewhere too, not having a job isn't necessarily a sign of laziness, discontent, or misfortune. Employment, in some universes, is inversely related to the quality of life. 

Take my life today, for example. 

I woke up, had a health-conscious peach-mango soy-protein smoothie--one packet out of a whole, expensive, diet-system of packets that my stepfather couldn't bring himself to enjoy, no matter the price. Then, I watched an episode of The Golden Girls while working out at an easy pace on the elliptical machine in the basement gym. There's also a Bowflex there that I'm too afraid to use, though I'm sure I could have flipped through the channels and found an instructive Bowflex infomercial. I certainly wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere.

After taking a shower and walking my mother's hyperactive shih tzu, Barley, I was driven to a spa about a 90-second car ride away for a facial appointment that my mother had scheduled and purchased for me. As my mother points out, there's no reason I shouldn't look as pretty as possible before going back to New York City--you just never know who you're going to meet! 

My facialist asked me what I did, and I told her I wasn't working, but that I had just traveled to Greece. She asked me, then, if I was married, or had a boyfriend maybe... 

Nope, not involved with a wealthy older man yet, if that's what she was really asking me--but I'm sure as hell living like it today, in this sweet, parallel unemployed universe.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to prepare myself for a dinner-date with an old girlfriend of mine.

No comments:

Post a Comment