I had the best Columbus Day Weekend ever.
Friday night, I had a friend anniversary date with Mikki at Radio City Music Hall—a showing of The Two Towers, with a live orchestral and choral performance of the score. We ogled Aragorn, Faramir, and the beautiful concert harp.
Saturday, I bought a 22-string harp from a guy named Tim Taylor. He bought me a glass of whiskey and asked me if I could teach his son to play piano. Sorry Tim Taylor, I don’t think I can improvise piano-teaching skills the way I’ve been improvising everything else in my life as of late: teaching English, being an nude art model, working for an advertising company, fitting clients for expensive and non-refundable clothing... and now, playing the harp. I don’t know how to play the harp.
Sunday night was my second shift at Funfetti Café. Instead of ladling a serving of creamy tomato soup into a bowl for some of my customers, I had mistakenly ladled them a serving of chunky marinara sauce. We all laughed and I made lots of money. Which is good because I just spent $500 on a harp I don’t know how to play.
Monday, my weekend still wasn’t over. I played hooky from Badvertiser, and instead went to an apple orchard upstate with Mikki and friends, where we drank champagne and wine, ate cheese, smoked various legal and illegal things, took self-timer photos, rode on the backs of random golf carts—basically ended up doing everything one can imagine doing at an apple orchard, except for picking apples.
In the meantime, in the real world, Badvertiser was suffering my absence. Really, they needed me. Someone on Friday night had locked the office out of the well-ventilated/poop-friendly bathroom, and they needed me to give them the spare key (little do they know, I leave my jangly janitorial keychain in my desk drawer at work). That bathroom was out of commission for the rest of Friday, throughout the weekend, and for all of Monday.
Someone might have been able to acquire a spare key from Kozi, the girl next door who hates Badvertiser more than I do, but her office was closed for the holiday.
Monday was not a holiday for Badvertiser. Badvertiser had the worst Columbus Day Weekend ever.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment