V as in...

I'm on the phone with an airline, trying to book a flight to Geneva for Neo. The trip is for an undisclosed presentation he is hoping, but is not required, to attend. To entertain myself, I baselessly assume it's for an intensive Swiss S&M conference.

The unintelligible agent on the line asks me to spell out Neo's reservation code.

"G-E-X-W-X-V."

Agent repeats, "G-E-X-W-X-B."

"No, no. G as in..." The first word I think of is Gandalf, but I'm not sure if Lord of the Rings is big in India.

"G as in good, E as in egg, X as in Xylophone, W as in What, X as in Xylophone again, and V as in... uh..."

My mind is blank, except for one V word that I dare not use. I make eye contact with the boy-next-cubicle Blandon, and he has a smirk on his face. He knows, by the way I am stammering, that I can only think of one blaring word:

Vagina.

Vagina? Really? This is the only word I can think of right now? I'm sure there's a Freudian explanation for this.

I'm still stammering. I look around my cubicle for anything that might start with a V. Phone, book, thumbtack... crap! Nothing.

I hear Lenny Bambino snickering in the corner, and although this is admittedly hilarious, as far as I'm concerned he's not allowed to laugh at me.

And that's when, through my hatred of Lenny, I'm saved.

"V as in Vexation."

Thank you, Lenny, for being an endless source of literary inspiration.